Men are not lonely; they are insufferable and entitled, fueled by toxic masculinity to perform to be these “alphas” when, in fact, behind closed doors, they are submissive and breedable, as the saying goes. When will men learn that the effort they are making is failing and only harming their chances of finding a soul mate? Fifty-five percent of men voted for Donald Trump, according to Pew Research in the 2024 analysis of voting trends, and they wonder why women do not even want to touch them. The entitlement to women’s bodies as they treat women like incubators for their offspring to raise their children to be ignorant and follow unthinkingly, but sure let them be alphas. When they focus on physical aspects of a woman’s body, they are fetishizing, and it’s even worse for communities that are asian, black, and trans. The simple answer is that men are undatable, and it is entirely their fault.
In the United States, women legally gained the right to obtain a credit card in their own name with the passage of the Equal Credit Opportunity Act (ECOA) of 1974. Why did it take so long? The answer is male privilege and the systems of control men exert on femme identities to submit and cater to their needs. Control is huge for men, and one in three women is a victim of intimate partner abuse. Once again, the fault of the male loneliness epidemic lands on me, and personally, the epidemic should get a lot worse. Property does not equal women, and women have the autonomy to choose when to engage in relationships with partners who are men, but men think that because they take a woman on a date, they are owed sex. Many can echo “Make it make sense,” but it doesn’t; the reasoning is not logical but transactional.
Women’s suffrage was successfully achieved in 1920, nearly 150 years after the founding of the so-called free nation, the United States. If freedom exists, why do twelve states have a near-total ban on abortion? Men think they are lonely, but once again, they caused this and are insufferable. The dating trends swing toward men wanting the best of both worlds, having multiple partners and subscribing to non-monogamy, which is disguised as ethical. While some may practice polyamory in healthy and consensual ways, men would rather have various partners. Tell me the science of men wanting women with minimal “body counts” but can find a partner every week. Mind you, someone who can carry a child can only create a human once a year, but men can impregnate almost unlimited amounts of children, granted they have to have potent sperm, but most men don’t, just from experience, the quality is poor, and shouldn’t be watery. Women’s bodies are screaming at the thought of a man entering them because why would women risk a yeast infection just for a man to treat her like a fleshlight? When men learn they are the problem, maybe the outcome of their lack of sex life will dawn on them to change.
The history of oppression for women began when the earth was created. Billions of years leading up to this point, where men think women should stay home, sacrifice their career, and lose autonomy because their very partners voted for a lunatic who has openly encouraged Zohran Mamdani to exclaim Donald Trump is a fascist. Another topic not only talked about but denied by men is the gender pay gap. Men are paid more for the same jobs because, inherently, they devalue women. Every man forgets the woman who delivered him, so where is the appreciation? ALL WOMEN suffer from gender prisons that exist around the world. Yes, I said gender prisons because traditional values harm femme identities in every culture.
Now that we have an introduction to the problem, which may have been fueled by a recent match on Bumble, from honestly a thumb, we can begin to know the history of this so-called epidemic, which is, in fact, just men causing their own loneliness. In the early 2000s, the idea of a loneliness epidemic emerged from Robert D. Putnam’s study, “Bowling Alone.” As social media began to take hold in modern society, distance became a regular part of everyday life. Being connected virtually is blamed for causing loneliness. Individualism is another reason people blame loneliness, while traditional community structures break down around the world. The rise of worker exploitation, long workdays, and the focus on monetizing almost every aspect of our lives, including subscriptions for refrigerators. People are stressed, but often men do not do the work, such as therapy, to understand emotional intelligence to the point that they can have empathy for communities other than themselves. Privilege is the act of believing something is not essential because it does not personally affect them, and this is rampant in an American society. Conservatism and radical misogyny have grown in the past fifteen years, fueled by the rise of toxic politics. The right saw a marketing standpoint of attacking minority communities, and with the need for men to have power, many young men saw this as an opportunity to find community without doing the work to build networks of support, but rather groups of common interest.
Simply put, men thought they were solving an issue when, in fact, they created a solution to allow women the safety of avoiding the risk of harm from the privilege of men.
The Dominance Behavioral System (DBS): Psychologists describe the DBS as a biologically-based system that guides motivation and behavior related to power and subordination. It involves an individual’s drive to pursue power, sensitivity to cues signaling opportunities or threats to power, and the enactment of dominant behaviors. Men have the psychological need for power due to their insecurities.
You may hear many men say they cannot date a woman who has a higher income; this is insecurity and a sign of financial control over a woman, a common abuse tactic in the dynamics of harm. Partnerships are not about subordination but rather about equity in the roles each person plays and the compromises each makes. Submission isn’t power; it is weakness, shielded in insecurity, for the need to be better, and men compete with fellow men for superiority.
We can begin to talk about patriarchy, and in recent times, when the Barbie movie was released, a firestorm of toxic male fragility became evident. Men do not want to be called out. The failure to tackle internal “demons” has led to patterns of failure, yes, men failed by not acting to change their ways of control. The concept of a “real man” is portrayed in media and pop culture as someone in power, in control, and superior. You may see a typical use of words in this article signalling the root causes of the so-called epidemic. While loneliness has risen in specific measures, the causes can be attributed to a lack of empathy in everyday life. Life in America over the past fifteen years has changed to allow men to pursue individual goals rather than the traditional “protector” role. Historically, men were seen as providers and protectors, but, in hilarious terms, the song “Scrubs” by TLC shows that men have given up on their so-called duties as members of society. So, when did it become evident that change was needed? The answer lies in the need for change that emerged when the second power existed and was exerted. Another cause of the lack of attention men receive from their female counterparts is the infantilizing of a woman’s identity. Women are grown and not to be called girls, but a common theme among men is to see women as fragile. Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta formally rescinded the 1994 Combat Exclusion Policy, ordering the military branches to open all combat jobs to women by 2016, provided they met gender-neutral physical standards. This was the policy decision that set the integration process in motion. Why did it take so long for women to be able to serve in combat roles?
Men have dominated every field, and now, with the trump admin removing some professions from educational funding and imposing caps on those degrees that are heavily dominated by female identities, it has only made the way for keeping women out of the workplace. Many conservatives view women as having traditional roles to stay home and produce a nuclear family, but why do we as a society allow this? Many popular forums like 4chan have allowed hate toward women to run rampant, and very recently, the killing of a blue-collar woman because the man just didn’t like her, despite this woman reporting to human resources multiple times, the man made her feel uncomfortable. Amber Mary Czech will forever be twenty years old, and that is due to femicide. Thousands of women lose their lives every year to acts of violence from men, and this femicide needs to end, but the government will not act. WHEN WOMEN are assaulted, often they are treated as suspects and blamed for the acts of men. The common saying “Boys will be boys” excuses this inexplicable behavior, but men continue to allow their fellow men to exploit and hurt women to uphold what? Masculinity?
Straight men perpetuate this rhetoric as if they are not the cause of it. In the grand scheme of things, many may not feel hopeful about change, and I echo those sentiments: so, when will the status quo change? ALL OF THIS TO SAY, MEN SHOULD BE LONLIER AND SIT WITH THEIR ACTIONS!